October 28, 2010

Mahkamah yg Lawak !

Lawyer: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?”

Witness: “Yes.”

Lawyer: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”

Witness: “Yes, sir.”

Lawyer: “What did she say?”

Witness: “‘What disco am I at?’”


Lawyer: “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”

Witness: “I only have one, you know.”

Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?”

Witness: “July 15th.”

Lawyer: “What year?”

Witness: “Every year.”

Lawyer: “How old is your son, the one living with you?”

Witness: “Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.”

Lawyer: “How long has he lived with you?”

Witness: “Forty-five years.”

Lawyer: “Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?”

Witness: “No. He was wearing a mask.”

Lawyer: “What was he wearing under the mask?”

Witness: “Er…his face.”


Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?”

Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”

Witness: “My name is Susan.”

Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”

Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”


Lawyer: “Sir, what is your IQ?”

Witness: “Well, I can see pretty well, I think.”

Lawyer: “What happened then?”

Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”

Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”

Witness: “By death.”

Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”

Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”

Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”

Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”

Witness: “Yes.”

Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”

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